Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Fashion Channel

I don't know why, but Cait and I are watching that dumb fashion channel. I just figured out why NOBODY watches this channel. Right now there is this old English woman, named Lulu, with no fashion sense. It's like she designs in the dark. She made this hideous velvet dress. Velvet? No one will wear velvet and be happy about it. There's this magenta one on this model with ginger hair, which clashes so bad it's painful to look at. They have matching velvet scarves too. With little beads. They apparently don't know how to wear scarves either. They were wearing them on one shoulder. That's not keeping anything warm. She also made these awful belts. They were suede belts, with suede fringe. These belts were put on the women with the nasty velvet dresses. It was sickening. Also, there were pants. Pants made of satin. Yellow ones. Yellow satin pants. And there's shirts with the same color that have the styles of Aladdin. This woman must be on a tight budget. She made clothing out of the most disgusting fabrics ever made. The only reason you would wear these clothes is if you wanted to repel the entire human race. I would rather wear rotting garbage.

Cait's Toaster.

Cait's mom, Sallypoo, bought a dumb little toaster one day. It is functional, but it has stupid functions. This thing was made by a person who didn't have enough counter space in their kitchen. Well, in my experience, every kitchen I have ever been in has had plenty of counter space. How much do you leave on your counter? I hope you clean up after yourself. So, this toaster is not the normal, pleasant square shape you usually see in your average kitchen. This toaster is a rebel. This toaster is a rectangle. There is a big ol' slot for your food to be toasted in. Not two slots, one slot. I tried to make waffles, which are delicious, in this toaster. The waffles overlapped because there is one slot. So part of my waffles were not toasted. I am serious about my waffles. Would you by a toaster that was not doing it's job properly? I wouldn't. I am willing to sacrifce 3 by 6 inches of counter space in order to have crispy waffles.